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ReiRei by LichKing0zma


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July 26, 2013
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I died a week ago. My house caught on fire due to a gas leak, and I unfortunately didn't make it. My family is devastated, but they're always praying to God that I'm happy. Well, they've got it half right.

I don't know what Heaven is like because... well, I didn't end up there. Frankly, everything is a sin, so in retrospect, only babies who meet their early end go to Heaven cause they didn't get a chance to sin. But you know, I've cursed, I've had premaridal sex, I've masturbated, I've lied, and I've... well, stolen from my mom's purse. So... here I am. In Hell.

I'm not sorry though. Turns out, our idea of Hell was all wrong. It's not firey, souls aren't being tortured for all eternity... and don't get me started on Satan. He's the most chill dude I've ever met. And boy is he attractive. He's tall, thin, has black hair slicked back into a small ponytail, and he wears a simple black t-shirt with scarlet skinny jeans! He even wears freakin' Airwalks!

Oho man, Hell has got to be the most fantastic place to ever exist. Each soul lives in their own little house, and they're very nice looking on the outside. But oh... on the inside, it's WAY bigger than the house looks! And each house is designed to fit your personal fantasies!! I can eat as many sweets as I want without getting fat, I can imagine up anyone I want for a companion, and even have sex with them with no consequences! I have a library filled with books only I like, I have the BEST computer, my bed is so comfy I have no trouble sleeping, and I have so many pets that I don't have to worry about losing money to take care of them!

There are places to go to have fun also if you want to mingle outside of your home. This is just to give us that feeling we used to have when we were alive. Oh, and we all seem to understand each other despite speaking different languages. Every now and then, Satan will walk around and see how everyone is doing, making sure we're all happy. If there's a problem, he fixes it. If there's an argument, he's able to make peace between the souls who are having the quarrel. And he will sometimes perform on a stage for us, doing comedy routines, holding a concert, telling wonderful stories, or even just calling on people to answer any questions. He really gets to know us personally, and even knows our names and faces. Sometimes he'll even hold a talent show for those who want to show off!

Physical, mental, and emotional disorders are all gone. Blind people can see, deaf people can hear, people with depression were happy, people with Autism were no longer unable to "fit in," need I go on? There was no crime because there was no reason. We didn't have money, so we couldn't be robbed, we couldn't be killed, so there was no murder, you could have anyone you wanted, so there was no rape... and drugs? Ha, you can create any sort of "high" you wanted in your own home! Everything is so wonderful here.

Sometimes we have a couple souls that are kicked out of Heaven and sent down here. At first they're scared, but then see what a paradise it is and exclaim, "Heaven is a boot camp compared to this!" Apparently it's very strict up there. Whoo, I'm glad I was a sinner.

Well, if I had to die, at least I'm happy in the afterlife. My parents got their wish... they were just praying to the wrong savior.
i just have this theory that maybe hell is a good place to be, that maybe we have it all wrong. you never know.
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:iconmrssilico:
MrsSilico Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
See I've always kind of wondered what if heaven and hell don't even exist? What if someone just wanted a joke and made up all the religions? And when you die you just kind of float around on earth, except you don't eat, talk to loved ones(Unless their dead), and you just kinda explore it.
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:iconreitanna-seishin:
Reitanna-Seishin Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I've had that thought as well. I mean, if you think about it, anyone could've written anything and said it was a "message from god." but this is why I don't believe in religion
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:iconmrssilico:
MrsSilico Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Me and my cousin talked it over and we just kind of laughed about it since who knows? Until someone invents a time machine and actually can check, then we will never know.
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:iconreitanna-seishin:
Reitanna-Seishin Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
lol yeah. well, I kinda hope I come back as a ghost so I can haunt people for shits and giggles
Reply
:iconmrssilico:
MrsSilico Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
That would be the best thing ever. Hey, hey friend.. Im gonna haunt you forever~ Mwhaha.
Reply
:iconreitanna-seishin:
Reitanna-Seishin Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
it's like you're chilling with ghost friends, and then you nudge you bud with your elbow, "hey... hey I'm gonna go scare that dude over there. watch, it'll be hilarious."
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:iconmrssilico:
MrsSilico Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
That would be amazing. Im hoping that me and my cousin come back as ghosts, we'll haunt everyone. 
Reply
:iconlichking0zma:
LichKing0zma Featured By Owner May 8, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
And a HUGE PIPE ORGAN >w<
:iconorgelplz:
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:iconsampea:
sampea Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2014
Interesting.
Reply
:iconteddyglitter:
TeddyGlitter Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
What scares me is that I've done every one of sins you listed... But not premaridal sex... I'm only 17 o-o...
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:iconreitanna-seishin:
Reitanna-Seishin Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
i lost my virginity at 14 dood
Reply
:iconteddyglitter:
TeddyGlitter Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
holy shit... my mom would kill me if I lost my virginity that young... and she still would now!
Reply
:iconreitanna-seishin:
Reitanna-Seishin Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
my family probably doesn't even know, but at this point in life, i don't find it a problem cause it was in the past. in NO WAY do i encourage it, no way, and i'm not proud of it. but i was young, naive, and was in love with that boy. i know that was love and not infatuation cause i know what love feels like now, but he became such an asshole after a long while, i broke it off. and i blame my parents for not giving me "the talk"
Reply
:iconrunawaycomics:
RunawayComics Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist

www.youtube.com/watch?v=btLFfH…

 

inspiration or coincidence?

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:iconreitanna-seishin:
Reitanna-Seishin Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
coincidence, i've never watched the twilight zone
Reply
:iconrunawaycomics:
RunawayComics Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
well it's still an awesome coincidence :)
Reply
:iconloneavengercosplay:
LoneAvengerCosplay Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2013  Student General Artist
I always thought hell would be like this. If it existsm I hope it is, because that's sure where I'm going to end up....
Reply
:iconreitanna-seishin:
Reitanna-Seishin Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
EVERYTHING'S a sin, man. i'm pretty sure 90% of us will go to hell. that other 10% are unfortunate babies
Reply
:iconloneavengercosplay:
LoneAvengerCosplay Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Student General Artist
True, true. Being evil is fun though.
Reply
:iconlichking0zma:
LichKing0zma Featured By Owner May 8, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Especially in Fable.
Reply
:iconcapitalofawesome:
capitalofawesome Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
this is a good theory, but i wouldnt wanna go to hell, unless this was true lol but i love the story. :heart: i wish i could write as good as you.
Reply
:iconaristodes:
Aristodes Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
There was a Twilight Zone episode that dealt with this. Everything was seemingly perfect. Too perfect. It was later revealed that the dead gangster wasn't in heaven, but the "other place." He went crazy.
Reply
:iconmoviecatmar:
MovieCatMar Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
huh that sounds nice...but I probably won't go there since I am too much of a goody goody...but today I stole a mini pack of gum which was the worst thing I've ever done so...
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:icongeneralafire:
Generalafire Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013
I'll see you there then. Worst I've done is cussed. :) 
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:iconmoviecatmar:
MovieCatMar Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
XD ok see ya 
Reply
:iconinvadermia02:
InvaderMIA02 Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
maybe hell isnt bad afetr all. Oh and really well written rei :D
Reply
:iconkittykatlikethat:
KittyKatLikeThat Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
"ive masterbated" ... didnt need to know that... i feel as thought you could have gotton your point across without putting that there o-o
Reply
:iconreitanna-seishin:
Reitanna-Seishin Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
XD this isn't told by ME, obviously i'm not dead. i also don't lie and never stealed from anyone
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:iconkittykatlikethat:
KittyKatLikeThat Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
ooohhh okay, i was like OOOOKAAAAAAYYY THEEEEENNNN
Reply
:iconvarletlegion:
varletlegion Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Student General Artist
What if Hell Is great, but heaven is even better to the point where it can't be described? Just an Idea.
Reply
:icongirismyinspiration:
GIRismyinspiration Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I think earth is really hell and you learn from everything that happens in life, good or bad and once you learn everything you need to learn, you get to die and get off of this hell of a planet. This perspective of heaven and hell is really awesome :D amazing writing as usual rei! :D
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:iconreitanna-seishin:
Reitanna-Seishin Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
that's sort of the idea i took when i wrote "quiet heartbeat." the idea was that earth was like a test run, and when you die, you go to this other planet to live your REAL life
Reply
:icongirismyinspiration:
GIRismyinspiration Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Nice. I wanna read that...
Reply
:iconreitanna-seishin:
Reitanna-Seishin Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
it's in my gallery
Reply
:icongirismyinspiration:
GIRismyinspiration Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Cool thx!
Reply
:iconhoneybearpaw:
Honeybearpaw Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You make Hell sound like heaven and Heaven sound like Hell.Interesting and ironic plot twist...
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:iconreitanna-seishin:
Reitanna-Seishin Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
*nod* you never know
Reply
:iconhoneybearpaw:
Honeybearpaw Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It might be better than you think...
Reply
:iconblueyay:
Blueyay Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
I was told that Heaven and Hell are the same place, the only difference is the path you take.
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:iconkalitu:
Kalitu Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
omg you blew my mind
Reply
:iconsolis-starweaver:
Solis-Starweaver Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Wow.... this is actually a really good perspective on the whole heaven/hell thing.
Reply
:iconasapientmachine:
Asapientmachine Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013
Yeah, Heaven's too boring and over rated 
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:iconthemightypangea:
TheMightyPangea Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Student Writer
Whoa...
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:iconi0sawesomies2107:
i0saWesomiEs2107 Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013
this is gonna sound so stupid of me to say but this kinda scares me a little. dunno why:scared: 
Reply
:iconreitanna-seishin:
Reitanna-Seishin Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
maybe it's the fear of going to heaven and having it be bad, but still afraid to go to hell just in case it's NOT awesome
Reply
:iconi0sawesomies2107:
i0saWesomiEs2107 Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013
o.O religion scares the crap outta me
Reply
:iconreitanna-seishin:
Reitanna-Seishin Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
extremists scare me. i have friends of different religions, but they don't go over board. for me, i don't believe in religion, which is different than believing or not believing in god. i accept people as long as they don't try pushing their beliefs on me to try and convert me. i mean hell, it'd be just as bad if i started telling people to not eat meat. i'm talkin to you, PETA...
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:iconi0sawesomies2107:
i0saWesomiEs2107 Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013
i agree, i don't like it when people try to get me to believe in all these different things and stuff. I'v been told many many times that im going to hell for what i am and it's always scared the living shiza out of me, i honestly dont know what to believe, the theory that hell is heaven might be true, maybe not, religion scares me, it confuzzles me and i just dont wanna know if heaven is hell or hell is heaven, ignorance is bliss, i'd rather be uninformed about this stuff instead of laying in bed every night, thinking 'oh my god what if the devil comes and drags me to hell, what if God abandoned us, what if bla bla bla bla bla'
i hope what im tryin to say makes sense..........I HOPE GHOSTS EXIST BECAUSE I WANNA BE ONE
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:iconreitanna-seishin:
Reitanna-Seishin Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
i do too. i'd chill with my friends and scare people for fun
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