Emo. We've heard this term for years. I don't exactly remember when it actually started, but I didn't personally hear of it until my sophomore year. All we had was punk and gothic, but now gothic and emo are completely confused with each other. And now I'm ashamed whenever people accuse ME of being emo because they don't know the difference. Not even Southpark knows the difference.
The problem is, emo is associated with "emotion," but a depressed emotion at that. When people think of emo, they think swoopy haircut colored black, black clothing with occasional stripes, plaid, checkers, etc., hate for the sunlight, hating EVERYTHING, and writing depressing poems... oh, and cutting yourself! This is the problem...
There are people who do all these things that are not emo. I knew a very popular girl in 8th grade, Courtnie (yes, with an i), and she confided in me that she cut herself too, showing me her marks. Mind you, this was your stereotypical preppy ditz that was pretty much better than everybody else, but she was also the only popular kid who's ever genuinely been nice to me. As stuck up as she could be, I never saw her actually be mean to anyone except, you know, ex boyfriends. In lamen's terms, perfectly "normal" girl had cut herself because of sadness she hides behind her pretty, perfectly complected face.
I used to be gothic. It was when Erin started getting worse than ever, and abuse combined with manic depression, horomones, and bullies broke me. Of course, my fashion reflected that. Hell, I didn't even know what people thought gothic was. Now, of course, I don't follow labels. I wear what I want, whether it's a black frilly skirt with striped stockings or nice jeans with a pink t-shirt. I shop where I want as long as there's something I think is cute. And I'm gonna be honest, Hot Topic has disappointed me lately.
And now to the cutting. I cut myself. I've done it ever since I was thirteen, and that was BEFORE I even considered going goth. Of course, I haven't cut myself since the picture with the blue blood because I made a promise, so I've had to restrain myself... Reitanna NEVER breaks a promise. But I've got scars on both wrists, my thighs, even my hip. I've used things that range from safety pins to my own nails, keys to scissors, pointed tweezers to nail clippers, and box cutters to my own teeth. Why do I do this? Pfft, even I don't understand why. I can't say it's because of the depression, cause I've cut myself during manic episodes too, that's why they're JUST as dangerous as the depressed episodes. I guess I could say that sometimes it just feels good, and other times I'm punishing myself for what I did wrong, cause I tend to think everything's my fault. The scars remind me of how useless I am. Sometimes I honestly just want to see the blood... it's just hard to explain.
Ask an emo kid why they cut. Not sure what they might respond with, but it MIGHT sound mellow dramatic. It's almost as if this whole depression thing is a fashion right along with the clothes. Someone could have a perfectly happy life and just suddenly start faking depression. I'm not saying ALL "emos" do this, but there are some that make the stereotypes true, that's why they're stereotypes. Ever heard the saying, "down the road, not across the street?" The theory is, if you cut vertically down your wrist, you're an actual cutter, but if you do it horizontally across, you're a poser. I didn't hear this phrase for awhile after I started cutting, but I thought it was funny, seeing as how I always did it vertically. Unless of course I decided to do shapes and designs.
*Sigh* Depression, cutting, stereotypes... all very touchy and controversial subjects. But the point is, just because someone lookes "emo," doesn't mean they're actually posers. Yes, some are, but with all people, you should never judge people by their appearence or fashion, but get to know them. If it turns out they've got a psychological disorder and they cut, they still could be the sweetest people you ever meet. You could make your best friends this way. I know I did, but in reverse.
So, emo. Is it just a fashion? Are they all posers? Does it genuinely mean you've got a lot of terror going on in your head? The answer is... sometimes. Like in all races, in all species, it depends on the individual. If you choose to frown upon someone, fine and dandy for you, but you don't need to vocalize it to the person. You never know what's going on in their head, and you never know who might not be on this earth the next day.
We can't all love each other, but we CAN keep peace. Is hate really so different than love? This sorta works in reverse too. the goths and emos hark on the "preps." Think about it. Think before you act.