Muffins Side Story: On Trial

The courtroom was packed with ponies, each chatting softly with their neighbors while they waited for the trial to begin. Everypony wore a melancholy expression, making the atmosphere tense and unpleasant. A bailiff stallion stepped in front of the room and cleared his throat, bringing the audience to attention.

"Please rise before Justice Trinity," he said firmly, and everypony stood as a middle aged unicorn mare wearing a Judge's robe entered the room, taking her place in the high middle stand at the front. She met the eyes of Princesses Celestia and Luna, who were sitting in the first row of pews, and they nodded, giving her permission to start the trial.

"Send in the accused," Justice Trinity demanded to the bailiff once everypony had taken their seats again. He nodded and opened a door, letting in four earth mares wearing orange jumpsuits enter the courtroom, escorted by a police officer. The prisoners were all chained together by their back ankles so that they couldn't run off in different directions, and each wore a cold expression that was filled with hate. The ponies in the crowd jeered at them, some yelling very rude curses, and only fell silent after Justice Trinity banged her gavel multiple times. She turned to the prisoners. "Pinkamena Dianne Pie, Marblestone Pie, Limestone Pie, and Obsidian Pie," she said powerfully, "you stand accused of hundreds of accounts of kidnap and murder."

"Whoops," Marblestone "Inkie" Pie said without concern before she could stop herself, and her sisters snickered. Justice Trinity hammered her gavel a second time, eyes filled with anger.

"Silence!" she barked. "We also have been informed that you had two more accomplices. Where are they?"

"No idea," said Limestone "Blinkie" Pie calmly. "We've been stuck in our cells, haven't we? Doesn't take a genius to figure out that we have had no way of keeping an eye on our friends."

"Friends?!" Princess Luna shouted suddenly, and the Pies turned around to look at her and her sister. "I have a hard time believing you cared about a poor little filly and handicap pegasus! You filled their heads with things they could not comprehend! Took advantage of their innocence! Used them as mere puppets! How long would it have been until you slaughtered them as well?!" The Pies' mouths were agape as they exchanged shocked looks, and then, to everypony's surprise, all four of them howled with laughter.

"Used them?!" shrieked Blinkie Pie. "That's absurd!"

"They both were as good as family to us," said Inkie Pie. "Granted, Blinkie and I had our doubts about them, but they were quickly abolished."

"We're all very proud to say we've never lied to Apple Bloom or Derpy," continued Pinkie Pie, gently pushing her flat mane out of her face. "We treated them as our sisters. We loved them, and they loved us. And to say that they didn't know what they were doing is an insult to their intelligence."

"Oh, but obviously a little foal can't possibly be intelligent! Or a 'retard' like Derpy!" Inkie growled, grinding her teeth. "Derpy herself is ten times more intelligent than you, Princess. Shame on you! All of you!"

"Shame on us?!" shouted a buck in the jury. "We're not the murderers!"

"Hmm, such a shame, Lucky Clover," Pinkie Pie cooed, addressing the buck. "If I'm not mistaken, you were next on our list..." Lucky Clover went pale and didn't say another word.

"Pinkie Pie," said Princess Celestia firmly, "you are the one who should be ashamed with yourself. You harmed your best friends and tore apart the Elements of Harmony. Three of them are dead!"

"Yeah, well it would've been five if it weren't for Fluttershy," Pinkie spat. "What happened to her and Twilight, anyway?"

"Fluttershy is currently recovering at Ponyville hospital, and Twilight Sparkle has been admitted to the institutional ward due to mental trauma."

"HA!" cackled Blinkie Pie, startling a majority of the room and making them flinch. "So she really lost her mind? How pathetic!"

"She was never quite right anyway," Pinkie explained. "One time she went crazy just because she didn't give Princess Celestia one silly report on friendship." Her sisters laughed hysterically, and Justice Trinity slammed her gavel once more as the room erupted in anger.

"Order! ORDER!!" she shouted over the commotion.

"Report on friendship?" Inkie Pie inquired, raising a brow at her pink sister.

"Yeah," said Pinkie Pie. "Princess Celestia made Twilight come to Ponyville to make friends and asked her to give her weekly reports on the power of friendship. You know..." The party pony suddenly gave the white alicorn a wicked smile, and it was so unlike the Pinkie Pie Celestia had known before, it made her pull her ears back in fright. "It's your fault she lost her mind. You turned making friends into an assignment. You made it into a chore instead of something fun."

"You fool!" Celestia stood quickly, tears in her eyes as she glared at the former Element of Laughter. "Twilight Sparkle enjoyed learning and completing assignments! I felt that, by making it a learning exercise, she truly would get the experience she needed and deserved! And she did so well! To think I can never tell her how proud I am of her! I was going to turn her into an alicorn! She could've been a princess!"

"Really?!" Blinkie Pie said in disgust. "I literally just made a joke about that the day we got arrested! But you were seriously going to make her a princess?! Have you lost your mind?!"

"DO NOT SPEAK TO HER THAT WAY!!" bellowed Luna, who was trying to comfort her older sister, for she was now crying fairly hard, distraught over the mental loss of her student.

"Pardon me, Princess Celestia," said Inkie Pie in mock politeness. "But how much time did you actually spend with Twilight Sparkle?"

"What are you implying?" Celestia snapped, trying not to seem weak in her time of distress.

"Didn't you notice how unhinged she was?" Inkie continued. "How easy she was to derail? Or what about how naive she was? How she didn't understand how a social life was supposed to work? It sounds to me that she would've been better off without making friends because she couldn't handle the drama of every day life. You doomed your own pupil."

"SILENCE!!" Princess Luna screamed, standing as well and radiating such an intimidating aura, the entire room cowered, all except the Pie sisters. "How dare you push your faults onto your ruler! You do not take responsibility for your actions? You do not believe that it was you who did wrong?"

"Oh, we do," said Pinkie Pie, who was still smiling. "We're bad, bad ponies, Princess. But if it wasn't for Celestia's poor judgment, sweet Twilight would never have fallen into our hooves. Besides, who are you to point, Nightmare Moon?" Princess Luna fell silent, and she looked ashamed. Obsidian "Minkie" Pie, who had been silent save for her laughing, finally stepped forward.

"As a filly, I always remembered the tale of the Mare in the Moon when looking up at the night sky," she said in her soft voice. "Even after two decades of being locked away, I returned to the surface to see that the state of the moon had not changed. Imagine how surprised Inkie, Blinkie, and I were when that shape suddenly disappeared from the satellite. Where did it go, we wondered. Eventually, our village got word that Princess Luna had returned to her place as ruler with her sister... but why?

"It wasn't until the three of us came to Ponyville and met up with Pinkie Pie that she told us the story of how she and her friends defeated Nightmare Moon and brought Luna back... such a magical story... so touching. But have you ever forgotten, Princess? Have you ever forgotten the bitterness you felt that everypony welcomes the light from the sun and hides from the darkness that comes with the moon? Have you forgotten the fear you ensued upon Equestria when you rose against your sister? Have you forgotten the satisfaction of seeing them cower beneath you?"

"That's not who I am," Luna said, her lip trembling. "That was never who I was..."

"You were my favorite Princess," Minkie Pie continued. "You brought the night, which was salvation to me because it meant that mama and papa would go to sleep, and the torment would rest until the next day. Though I was not yet born when raising the moon was your duty, I associated the event with you because of the stories, and I always looked forward to seeing that shadow on the moon." The dark mare's expression became a twisted mix of spite and humor. "But my entire world grew dark once my own parents locked me away... banished me, if you will... you and I have a lot in common, Luna. Shunned by our loved ones because of our love for the darker things in life..."

"S-silence...!" Luna croaked, her eyes brimming with tears just like her sister.

"Of course..." Minkie Pie rose her voice slightly, and began pacing within the confined space she had due to her short chains. "You were weak and gave in to the lies fed to you by your perfect older sister. You can be good! You aren't evil! Everything is wonderful! Life is wonderful! And everypony is just so GODDAMN HAPPY!!" The room flinched as Minkie shrieked those last two words. Her green eyes bore unblinkingly into Luna's deep teal ones. "Disgusting," she breathed. "Seeing everypony basking in the warmth of false hope given by their ruler... it makes me sick. Everypony is so full of optimism, thinking everything will be alright no matter what happens, even if a few hundred ponies vanish into thin air...

"They say ignorance is bliss," Minkie Pie went on, the entire courtroom so silent, it was as if no pony were breathing. "Well, it is. When you don't know the horrors that await you, when you don't know what the world has in store, you're happy. Anypony that believes in hope is a fool. Anypony that has faith in good and righteousness is an idiot. Anypony that can tuck in their children at night and tell them, 'tomorrow will be a good day' is nothing but a liar. I feel sorry for any creature, pony or otherwise, that believes life is a miracle. Life is no miracle, life is a curse. Death is a miracle, for it is freedom, it is salvation, it is peace."

"Do you want to know why I keep smiling?" came Pinkie Pie's voice, though it was almost as soft as her sister's, so it took a moment for everypony to realize it was her who was speaking. "Because I know. What do I know? I know the truth, because I am the truth. I play with the lives of other ponies, I control their last moments, and I bring their lives to their ends. There was a time, back when I was a bit younger, when I felt like I failed myself. That day, I almost jumped off of a cliff to end my own life." Her sisters' eyes widened, and they glanced at each other, having not known this bit of information. "But then I remembered when Inkie Pie and Blinkie Pie joined me in making cupcakes when we were fillies, and I realized that there are reasons to live, even when you know that the world is nothing more than a place filled with ignorant souls who will do anything to stay happy, even if it means refusing to open their eyes to the darkness around them.

"If I was gone, my sisters, Derpy, and Apple Bloom would all be very sad. They would miss me. Why? Because I make them happy, and their happiness makes me happy in return. I can wake up every morning with a smile on my face because I know that I will see my most favorite ponies in the world, and I can lay down at night knowing the next day will be the same. Though each day brings a new surprise, and though I might not know if something bad will happen, I still know that I have my family and friends by my side. Plus, when you control death, it's hard not to smile!"

"You do not control death, Pinkie Pie," Celestia growled lowly, feeling hatred toward the party pony. "And you have caused more sadness than you can even imagine..."

"Have I?" sneered Pinkie. "With all of the cupcakes and pastries I brought to parties? With all of the money I helped bring in when I started working at Sugarcube Corner so that the Cakes found financial stability? To the point where they were able to care for themselves and two brand new foals when they came along?" She suddenly stamped her hoof on the floor, making everypony jump once again. "I know for a fact that every single pony in this room consumed quite a large amount of my special pastries, including you, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna. And I can recall each and every one of your reactions after taking the first bite! You want to know what it was?" Her furious eyes scanned the room as she was met with no response. Then she chuckled lightly. "A smile."

"What about your friends?" Princess Celestia asked, and everypony was surprised that her tone had become almost sympathetic. "You killed your best friends. Don't you miss them? Didn't you care for them?"

"Of course!" Pinkie Pie replied. "That's why I decided to stuff them when I was done playing with them!" Her eyes suddenly widened. "What... what did you do with Rainbow Dash and Applejack?"

"Their bodies were recovered, cleaned up, and respectfully buried," said Princess Luna. "They were given the funeral they rightfully deserved so that they may be at peace."

"NO!!" Pinkie Pie actually looked upset. "Now they're really gone! I kept them for a reason! So that I'd always have them by my side!"

"If you had really cared, you wouldn't have killed them!" shouted Celestia, and a magical aura surrounded Pinkie Pie, for she had just been about to launch herself at the Princess, but was now held back by the unicorn police officer.

"You don't understand friendship!" the pink pony screamed, struggling fruitlessly against the magic. "You don't know love! You've made no attempt to form a friendship with any of your subjects!"

"You're wrong," Celestia murmured, bowing her head. "And my one friend no longer recognizes me because of you."

"Do you really think this is the end?" Inkie Pie snarled, addressing the entire room. "Even with us four locked up, Derpy and Apple Bloom are still out there. They're smart, resourceful, clever, and one can fly. Do you really think you'll be able to bring them down?"

"We can only hope," said Princess Luna, and Minkie Pie scoffed.

"Hope is for fools," she hissed. Justice Trinity hit her gavel twice, but softly, as she was shaking from trying to keep from crying over the stress.

"I will now dismiss the jury to agree on your sentence," she mumbled, voice trembling. The twelve ponies stood from the jury stands and went into a back room to converse. Meanwhile, Pinkie Pie had been released from the officer's magic, and she was now being consoled by her sisters. Inkie Pie met the eyes of Princess Celestia.

"Princess," she said firmly, "remember this. Under your rule, a young pegasus was abandoned by her mother, a helpless earth filly was locked away in a cellar by her parents, and hundreds of ponies of all shapes and sizes were tortured and slaughtered. Under your rule, foals of all ages are shunned by others until their cutie marks appear. Under your rule, society has decided it's better to remain blind to the harsh reality of the world as opposed to being prepared for the worst. If you were more attentive, this all could've been avoided. You worked to keep everypony happy, and you were successful, but only because you made them think everything was going to be okay."

"It'll never be okay," added Blinkie Pie. "Not for you, not for us, not for anypony."

"We're all going to die," said Minkie Pie. "Some sooner than later."

"You can't keep Equestria in the dark forever, Celestia." said Pinkie Pie lowly. "Aren't you suppose to bring the light of a brand new day when you raise the sun? How long until everypony realizes that their leaders are fickle?" Princess Celestia did not respond as she tried to fight with her own mind, tried to convince herself that the Pie sisters were wrong, tried to tell herself that this was not her fault.

In no time at all, the twelve ponies of the jury returned to the courtroom, handing Justice Trinity a slip of paper. She called the room to order, and the four prisoners watched her spitefully as she was about to announce their sentence.

"Pinkamena Dianne Pie, Marblestone Pie, Limestone Pie, and Obsidian Pie," she said, her voice soft, but formal, "you are sentenced to death. You will await your execution in your prison cells. The date is currently pending, we will announce it within a week's time. Case dismissed." With one last bang from the gavel, the Pies were led back out of the courtroom, and everypony else filed out, all except the two Princesses.

Celestia rubbed her temples, her eyes closed, and Luna watched her in concern. When she opened her lavender eyes, she looked to Luna, appearing very tired.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"It is not your fault," Luna assured her. "You did not know. There was no way either of us could have known."

"Then why do I feel like I could've done something to prevent it?" asked Celestia, tears escaping her eyes once more.

"No pony is perfect..." Luna replied, but all the same, she too was fighting a mental battle. Could she have helped stop this? Could she have done something to save hundreds of innocent lives? Did she have a hoof in the chaos by leaving her sister's side for so many years?

The two Princesses finally left the courtroom, silent as they both questioned their roles as rulers of Equestria.