'Muffins' Universe

it's not that I don't like maud, I honestly know nothing about her cause I haven't seen that episode yet. but that's not the problem...

"muffins" was formulated in my head a LONG time ago, and a majority of the saga was already written before S4 came out. well, during that time, we didn't KNOW who that mysterious third sister was, did we? so I made one up that would fit into the universe that had been created. this is the magic of fanfiction: different universes! in the cupcakes universe, rainbow dash, diamond tiara, silver spoon, and gilda are dead, and apple bloom is a baker, that much we know for certain. in the muffins universe:

-Derpy is a baker
-pinkie's two known sisters are bakers
-pinkie pie's missing third sister is MINKIE PIE, who is also a baker
-applejack and rarity are dead
-Fluttershy (unknown)
-twilight was NEVER an alicorn and never will be because she is insane
-babs becomes the newest baker

see, the whole thing started before S4, and the story itself takes place WAAAAAAAAAAAY before S3's last episode. so I UNDERSTAND that pinkie's real sister has been revealed! I GET it! but Minkie pie is the muffins universe's third sister to pinkie, alright?

it's like if... okay, pretend maud is the eldest sister (whether she is or not, I don't know), but she was born with darker mane and hide, and also that her parents named her obsidian (nicknamed Minkie). now let's ALSO pretend obsidian had a lot of mental problems and it scared her parents, so they locked her away for nearly two decades. voila! corrupted maud! sorry if I seem a bit IRRITATED, I don't know how I POSSIBLY could be IRRITATED.

do you know why I'm miffed, though? because sometimes my fans ask questions that were answered in previous deviations. take certain MLP pictures. I get questions from people who have watched me for a good amount of time about them, asking what is going on in them. well, where've you been? I understand that some people don't like to read, but all the same, even if you haven't read the fanfics, surely you've seen me talk about them? god, it's "omigawd is PWF done?!" all over again. but you know, maybe it's not "fans," maybe it's just people who randomly watch to see if anything good comes out of my piece of shit mind. who knows.

I just remember in good ol' high school in chemistry class. you see, for decades now, we humans have had the curse of not knowing how to read or follow directions. "but Reitanna, we KNOW how to read." you misunderstand, ominous voice from nowhere. take me, for instance. I have a very high reading level. in grade school, I wasn't ALLOWED to choose library books from my own grade section, I've always been at least two grades higher. "but Reitanna--" shut up, I know what you're gonna say, and i'll tell you right now that grammar and spelling mean SHIT to me if it's something unimportant like the internet. let's save that for what matters. even so, grammar itself takes practice, and being out of school for five years honestly gets you out of practice. plus, I won't pretend I was grammar-awesome anyway, cause I wasn't. and spelling and reading do not coincide. to all my bad spellers out there, don't listen to anyone bashing you for misspelling stuff. believe it or not, it's a gift, and teachers will tell you the exact same thing.

anyway, my point is, is even though I've always been a great reader, I fell under the same curse that plagues students; THE INABILITY TO READ DIRECTIONS. I will slap anyone who says they never ONCE accidentally failed to follow written directions on worksheets or homework, because if someone was that perfect, they'd be our dictator. anyway, some of us learn by paying the price of not reading all the directions, and I was one of them. gladly, I learned to always read the directions given in class.

my chemistry teacher tested his students by hiding a request in each test we took. somewhere amid one of the questions, there'd simply be "draw a [blank] next to your name." he'd ask us to draw like a turkey or fish or something, I'd always make mine really funny because he'd show them to the whole class once they were graded. the neat thing is though, SOMETIMES he wouldn't ask us to draw anything. this way, if we were supposed to draw something, and someone didn't, they didn't read all the directions! and chances are they did some of the formulas wrong too! "rei, how did drawing something benefit the students??" we got extra credit because we followed directions!

behold, my friends! the curse does not fade when we go online! once more, not so long ago, maybe a year or so, I myself fell victim to the curse of not reading! and since then, whenever I have a question that I feel had the potential to have already been answered, I read descriptions. where... was I going with all this?

I guess what I'm trying to say is, if you are my fan, please try to keep up with stuff.

also, try not to take offense to this description (if anyone actually reads it) because I am PMSing, I was woken up at 7 in the morning after my FIRST NIGHT BEING ABLE TO BE BACK ON MY MEDICATION from mike SNORING, I was continuously being bothered by our fire alarm beeping because it was almost out of battery, and now.... THERE'S A LEAF BLOWER OUTSIDE?????? MOTHER FU--

"This is Annatier, Reitanna actually just blew up into a bajillion pieces, so I'll have to finish this up. She's all moody and broody, so just let her talk and she'll eventually shut up. Besides, I've been tugging her tail constantly for the passed week or so.... What? I can't help it. Take away her candy, I'm gonna come out!"

STOP TALKING!! *ahem* I'm going to go... do something else now... that's NOT murdering the leaf blower guy.