literature

My Tall and Skinny Friend

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Reitanna-Seishin's avatar
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Literature Text

I have a friend. He's pretty impressive, I show him off all the time. People must be super jealous though, cause they either run away screaming or faint.

My friend is much taller than me and very skinny. I tell him I envy him because I have to be careful to keep my weight where I want it. He's always dressed so nicely too! In a black suit and tie, he always looks like he's going to a business meeting.

It's very hard to tell how my friend is feeling because... well, this may sound weird but... he has no facial features. His skin is snow white and just has a... completely blank face. He has no mouth either, so he can't talk. He usually just writes me messy little notes.

He's a weird dude, obviously. But he's super fun. He can duplicate his arms as much as he wants, and they can also stretch far distances. He can also change his height, but he never goes below eight feet. I don't think he's able to.

He keeps to himself when it comes to personal stuff. I tried to ask him where he's from and what he was like when he was young, but he just writes a note to me saying, "I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT." He must've been kind of sad when he was little.

My friend comes and goes as he pleases. He'll just show up sometimes without even opening a door or window. I'll be doing my homework, and all of a sudden he's looking over my shoulder to see what I'm working on. It startles me when I notice him, but I welcome him. Sometimes he helps me with my math. Uh... he's not very good at it...

Surprisingly, he never gets bored when I go about my day. He never sits down, just stands and watches me. Sometimes I get sort of a headache when he's near, but then one of his hands pats my head lightly to let me know he doesn't mean it. It's just something that happens to people when he's around.

A couple nights ago, I was on my computer, checking my Deviant Art. I'm subscribed to a group that submits fanart of my friend! They call him Slender Man, and apparently he's very popular. He tells me via notes that he finds it annoying, but he deals with it. Anyway, when I was checking the club's latest deviations, I nearly vomited. I covered my eyes yelling, "NOPE!! No no no no no!! UGH!!" My friend, "Slender Man," teleports over behind me and bends over to see the screen. I clicked on the deviation to enlarge it, and suddenly his longs arms flail and he teleports to the furthest corner in my room.

The picture was... oh, I'm sick just thinking about it... of someone's OC being... romantic with Slender Man! He couldn't make sounds, but when I looked at him, many of his arms were wrapped around his faceless head. Out of... curiosity... I did a little searching and found romantic drawings and erotic stories involving him! I turned off my monitor and approached my friend.

"Are you okay?" I asked. Slender Man uncovered his head, retracting all but two of his arms. He quickly went to my desk and scribbled a note. He handed it to me and I read it.

"SEXUAL FANTASIES?!?"

"I know, I know!" I said, patting his hand to get him to relax. "I think it's gross too! I mean... you're like the last person to have... romantic... stuff..." He started writing feverishly.

"DID YOU SEE THOSE PICTURES? THEY SHOWED ME CARRESSING SOME WEIRD--" he had to start a new page, "GIRL AS IF I WAS THEIR BOYFRIEND OR SOMETHING! WHERE DO--" new page, "THEY GET THE IDEA I'D EVER TAKE A LOVER???"

"I don't know!" I replied desperately. "It's disgusting! I mean, you don't even like people except me... I don't even know why you like me!"

"BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T SCARED OF ME," he wrote. "I TRIED TO SCARE YOU LIKE I DO OTHER PEOPLE, BUT-- YOU SMILED INSTEAD AND COMPLAINED OF HEADACHES. I FIGURED IF YOU-- WEREN'T SCARED, I MAY AS WELL CLAIM YOU."

"Aw, that's nice," I said with a smile. "Yea, you don't really want friends do you? I'm an exception?"

"YOU'RE LIKE A PET."

"Meh, good enough." I glanced at my computer. "But still... I think those people took it too far..."

"I DON'T TAKE KINDLY TO SEXUAL HARRASSMENT."

"So what are you gonna do?" He hesitated, and then continued writing.

"I THINK I'M GOING TO PAY THESE WEIRDOS-- A VISIT. MAYBE TAKE THEM TO THE WOODS-- OR AN ABANDONED HOSPICE."

"They'll be so excited to meet you!" I said excitedly.

"THEY WON'T BE EXCITED FOR LONG." And just like that, he was gone. I sighed and went back to my computer, closing the windows with the Slender Man erotica in them. Instead I watched some videos on Youtube about subliminal messages in kid's movies. Finally, I got tired and went to bed.

I woke up briefly at about 3:30 in the morning to see Slender Man standing in the corner. I yawned and curled up next to my fluffy teddy bear and fell back asleep. He was gone again when I woke up at around 8 or so. It was Saturday so I didn't have school. I saw a note stuck to my computer monitor.

"CAN'T HIDE."

He wrote vague notes like this sometimes, usually when he's in a hurry. Whenever he does, there are reports of missing people. Sure enough, there was a long list of missing people on the news that morning and the next. I didn't see him until Monday afternoon when I got home from school. He was in the corner again; he really likes to stand in corners.

"What have you been up to?" I asked. Going back to my desk, he wrote another note, then handed it to me.

"SAME OLD THING." I smiled at him and got to work on my homework. I never asked him what he actually did because I don't think he wanted to tell me. I'm guessing though, with all the people going missing, he probably scares them so bad they flee the city and go into hiding. He's a good friend, but really doesn't like this weird fanbase that's growing. He's told me he hates people and wants to do bad things to them, but he's discouraged by some of these fantasies. I tell him to stand up for himself when he's being harrassed, so he does.

Sometimes Slender Man calls me a "very innocent and naive little girl." He's so funny when he jokes like that! He's my bestest friend... always and forever.
i had this funny idea. i'm so sick and tired of people making slender man "sexy" or pretending he's boyfriend material. of course this story is sorta ironic because of the friendship, but this is a comedy, and i wanted to show slendy being freaked out. ever read that trollpasta about the boy sexually obsessed with slender man and like... wears a sailor moon mini skirt and tries to track him down? it's disturbingly hilarious, obviously not meant to be serious, but... i'll just say there ARE serious fanfictions like this... uh... slenderbone. that's all.
© 2013 - 2024 Reitanna-Seishin
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sharkgal321's avatar
its so stupid! and its like that with mlp to! wth are people thinking?!