Urrrrrrrrghkdkfhjhekifshd (UPDATED)

i cried for 2 hours STRAIGHT (no exageration) last night. why? finances. i've NEVER had money problems, but it's gotten bad since i don't have insurence (sp?) i'm gonna work on trying to get that back. so here's what my finances look like (estiment a month and OUT OF POCKET):

$120 for meds (most important. imagine me unable to get my meds...)
$124 student loans (gonna reduce the payment each month. it'll take me longer to pay off, but it'll be good in the long run)
$500 rent
$62 for psychiatrist (i don't see him every month though, which is good)

oh, and then, there's my teeth! my root canal filling fell out, and the second root canal may be on the same path. then, i have one cavity that needs to be filled AND i need a deep cleaning because my gums are REALLY sensitive. let's take a look at that...

$800 to pull the already damaged root canal tooth
around $800 or so for a crown to be put on the other root canal tooth
$130 for the cavity
AND GOD KNOWS HOW MUCH FOR THE DEEP CLEANING! probably another $800!!

soooooooooooooooooo, i've got a lot of things to be doing right now, WHICH MEANS, a big break from PWF. you'll get smaller projects still, but since PWF is THE project, it's gotta have another break. i am very responsible with money, but my meds are the ones killing me. i'm gonna actually write down my budgeting, set certain limits, and a bunch of other stuff.

i'm still going to anime expo. mike said "you ARE GOING to that convention," as a way to tell me "that's what we're working towards."

also, i may have to sell projects on etsy that weren't originally going to be sold, i.e, mr. wiggles, the cursed softball, the portal chamber, the cyborg, doll furniture i've made... but i am NOT letting go of marceline, AND i'll be damned if i resell my pullips and taeyangs! NO WAY! i earned most of those even before i HAD a job! but i'm also gonna have a garage sale... i will have to part with some of my stuffed animals... and i know one can't make a lot off of a garage sale, but at least it's SOMETHING.

so yea, PWF is NOT, i repeat, NOT ended, cancelled, put on hiatis, none of that. it's just on hold. i am THE BIGGEST ball of stress right now. to you underagies: THIS IS WHAT LIFE IS LIKE. this is adulthood! it SUCKS! money isn't everthing, but you DO need it to live, especially when it comes to my meds. you say you don't want reitanna to die? well, i might (not in my right mind) if i have another one of those breakdowns i can't remember, and i'm OFF meds.

SO PLEASE, pray for me! hope for me! keep me in your thoughts! that's all i need. hope, and patience. i know PWF is something you really enjoy, and i enjoy it too.... but this is when real life interferes with fantasy... and unfortunately, breaks do need to be taken.

but i'm not gonna give up on other hobbies, of course. i'm gonna work on small stuff to keep me sane. and i totes forgot about the contest, so i'll be picking winners soon. sorry 'bout that.

now, i'ma go eat before i pass out. cross your fingers for me, loves.

~:::UPDATE:::~

i added a donation pool on my website for anyone who wishes to help. it's completely optional, of course, so don't feel bad if you can't.