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I am now in boise, Idaho, and MAN, this place is pretty! the grass is actually green, there are real leaves on trees, WE SAW A DUCK LAST NIGHT, it rained like three times, and the air smells SOOOO fresh! you can even drink the tap water!! we are actually on the third floor, which is hell on my knees AND my paranoia (I have trouble going down stairs ever since my friend nearly pushed me down an escalator), but the apartment is NOICE! lots of storage space, living room and bedroom are very spacey, there are bike racks (I'm suggesting to mike that we get a pair of bikes for short distance travel), and it seems there's a private garden area with plots for each apartment. I'm not really a gardener though. :/ Jerry did REALLY well on the trip up here, we're proud of him, and he seems really happy with the fresh air coming through when we open the windows. having natural light illuminating the place is also just... just so relaxing... we still have to wait until all of our stuff gets here, so it's really empty, but we only have to wait a week.

mike just went to work. we checked out the walgreens yesterday, and it's pretty nice. I just hope the employees there are nice. poor babe was crying because he made friends at his old store that he's going to miss. I don't blame him, really. it was really hard saying goodbye to sempai, but it's not like it's goodbye forever.

we walked like two miles yesterday to see what's around, and there's quite a bit of stuff. me and my fat ass and torn ankle tendon did not have fun walking, and I got a huge blister on my toe, but that's what happens when you're depressed and indulge in your addictions. sugar may be more addictive than cocaine, but I'd rather be addicted to the sweet stuff than the latter. I've got to work on my sleeping habits too, though yesterday I woke up at 11 (10 pacific time) and felt pretty damn good, whereas before I was sleeping in until between 2 and 5 in the afternoon. I started shark week last night though, so it's not time to work on fixing those habits quite yet.

I'm also gonna shave my head again. this bald spot on my scalp is not going to look any better with the rest of my hair, so I may's well give my scalp an even playing field. I need to work on not pulling so I can have hair worthy of being shown in public without a hat to hide it, maybe I can even start coloring it again. I also am going to try harder to not pick my skin. that might be harder than not pulling my hair, but if I ever want to feel confident in my appearance, it needs to be done. and I should be allowed to like how I look, right? "no, Reitanna," says the assholes, "because if you have any confidence, that means you're self centered and narcissistic!" self esteem and narcissism are not the same things. so sorry if I want to be able to show my face on youtube again. sorry, I'm being bitchy, blame Aunt Flow.

let's see... there are candy stores, there is a thrift store where all the proceeds go to animal rescues, there's a small zoo, movies here are SO CHEAP!!! Michael went to see the avengers infinite war for.... *drumroll* EIGHT. DOLLARS. on a sunday! avocados are expensive here, but potatoes are cheap. I wonder why. it's because avocados grow well in hot, dry places like SoCal, and Idaho is the potato state.

not sure what else I have to say ATM. but I feel good. it's not an overwhelming excitement that you get when things are too good to be true, it's a content feeling, relaxing, like I can finally take a breath and let it out slowly without dropping a ton of shit put on my shoulders. I left all that shit in shithole SoCal. oh! and EGGS! eggs and milk! SO CHEAP!! food is taxed, but the tax rate here is only 6%, and there's no CRV for drinks. in California, the tax rate is up to 10% now, I think. okay, NOW that's all I have to say. if anything really neat happens, i'll be sure to write about it, whether people care or not. XD
  • Listening to: birds outside the window :3
  • Playing: The Sims 4
  • Drinking: water
Orbit died. we don't really know how it happened. he was obsessively cleaning his penis, and we had experience with that sign; Tommy was doing the same thing. Orbie was also really lethargic, which was another sign of what Tommy struggled with for the last year of his life; a urinary tract infection. well, we saved Tommy from the brink of death twice with some antibiotics I never had to use when I got my teeth pulled, so that's what we did with Orbie. he took it the first two times, and then refused to take any more, no matter what we mixed it with. unfortunately, since we were convinced it was a UTI, we had to force the doses from there, but it was only two of them. I felt really bad because he did NOT need that stress.

but he wasn't getting better. he became more lethargic, would eat less and less, and stopped drinking. today, he barely moved at all. while mike was at work, I held him and begged him to stay with us, and I told whatever god may or may not be up there that Orbie did NOT deserve this, so don't take him. then I saw a tiny red dot travelling across his fur... both Jerry and Orbit have thick, luscious fur, so if there's something hiding within it, it's not quite that obvious... and that's when I stopped crying.

I sat him down, saying, "I can fix you! I can save you!" and ran around the house to gather the supplies I needed. why? Orbie had lice, and we've dealt with THEM before too. Jerry had them too, but he's been as energetic as always, so I theorized that maybe Orbie's blood tastes better. so I gave Orbie a bath. I know this was stressful for him, but he could barely move, he was so weak. after the bath, I drenched him in olive oil to suffocate the lice. then I dried him off (as much as I could with the oil), and wrapped him in a blanket for warmth. I proceeded to do the same thing with Jerry, but HE had plenty of energy, and he was NOT easy to bathe since he hates water. still, I saw the lice on him, and it had to be done.

I was fully convinced that, now that I found the real problem, he could be saved. I was wrong.

a few hours after his bath, he passed away. we don't know exactly how this happened. did he have a UTI AND lice? did he have lice and a problem we couldn't see? did us stressing him out help kill him? he was not that old, and worse, he was mad at us for forcing medicine down his throat, so he never gave me goodbye kisses like Tommy had... I held Orbie's body and cried. rats die with their eyes open, so I looked into his face, hoping his little nose would start twitching again, but no. his fat body remained limp and lifeless, and it got colder by the minute.

I inspected his skin, being able to see the lice corpses now that Orbie's fur was clumped with oil. there was SO many of them, and even little groups in certain places. the stupid bugs practically sucked him dry. we've dealt with this particular louse many times, and we're sick of it. they can only be passes from rat to rat, and they only feed off of rats, so if they don't have rat blood, they don't survive. why have we gotten them so many times?

because of this STUPID. FUCKING. APARTMENT.

our rats don't go outside. that's the only way they'd logically be able to get the lice. but guess what? or front door doesn't fit the door frame. bugs get in all the time, but if the louse is transferred from rat to rat, how do they keep finding OUR rats? our theory is that a pack of wild rats might live nearby, and may have possibly gotten into our apartment by squeezing through the gap in the door. rodents have collapsible skeletons, so they can fit through spaces that look much smaller than their bodies. we've never seen a wild rat in our home, but if our clean, domestic rats are getting lice, the wild rats HAVE to be close enough for the lice to sense that there are more rats to infect. wild rats are tougher, more resilient, and... don't live as long as domestic rats, so these lice are very dangerous for a pet rat bred in captivity.

but we don't know EXACTLY what the deciding factor was in Orbie's passing, but it doesn't change the fact that both Mike and I are blaming ourselves, tell each other that it's not our fault, and say it's either neither of our faults, or both of our faults. Orbie was such a good rat, he was so lovey, he was well behaved, he was SO sweet... if there is a god, he/she had no right to take my child from me. but I've said it before, either there is no god, or he's a sick bastard that gets off on watching all of us suffer in any way he can think.

Jerry sniffed Orbie's body, but I don't think he fully realizes that his beloved brother is gone. they've been side by side every single day since they were born, and they LOVED each other. they didn't even fight with each other like male rats usually do! I hate imagining him going into his cage and wondering where his brother is. why isn't he coming back? where did he go? Tommy was a warrior, he dealt with the loneliness like a champ. I hope Jerry can be just as strong, because unfortunately, he's not getting new cage mates; we'd have to pay another hundred dollars in our rent every month. so... Jerry is going to have to sleep alone at night, and that breaks my heart. of course, Mike and I will give him EXTRA, EXTRA love, but it's not the same as having a member of your species around to talk to, especially your twin. social animals like rats, ferrets, and guinea pigs can die from depression due to the loss of a cage mate (that's how Ezio died), and I'm praying to mother nature to let Jerry stay happy and strong enough to live the rest of his natural life like Tommy did.

there was no reason for this to happen. why did this have to happen? am I being punished for feeling happy for the first time in two-three years? I should've known better to be happy, this happens whenever I'm feeling good about something. but no, lord, people like me aren't allowed to be happy, are we?
when I see "kawaii" fashion, I usually see macarons, cute little colorful cookies originally from france (NOT macaroons). they're SO CUTE, and I had never even seen a real one before. then I was at trader joe's with my grandmother so I could get some gyoza for (I assume) will be the last time, unless they carry some in stores in boise... it's hard to find vegitable gyoza... anyway, I saw boxes of macarons, and I was like, "NO WAY!!!!!!" so I bought a box, and when I got home, I tasted one (even though I should've let them thaw first), and it was really good. it's an interesting flavor, no matter what flavor it is because you can REALLY taste the almond in them. I also managed to find some ice cream mochi and salt water taffy. these are things you just don't find often!

we packed all of our boxes into a uhaul crate, so that's done. just eight more days until we get to say goodbye to this apartment forever.


~:::UPDATE:::~

dammit, autocorrect messed up my journal... I fixed it... it was MOCHI, not mocha!
  • Playing: The Sims 4
  • Drinking: lime cucumber gatoraid
so it looks like we found an apartment in boise! we submitted an application for the rats, and it was approved, so we just signed the lease, which means we have somewhere to go! IT'S HAPPENING!!! the boxes are piling up, the plans are in motion, mike has already got a job waiting for him out there, which is ten minutes (walking) away from our new apartment, our place has water covered, WASHER AND DRYER IN THE APARTMENT!!! no more waiting for people who forgot their laundry to come get their fucking laundry! and no more paying three bucks per load!! the apartment is bigger than ours by like... 200 square feet, and with the pet deposit, it's $1000 per month!!!!!!!!! AND MIKE GETS TO KEEP HIS PAY RATE HE WAS GETTING OUT HERE!!!! what does that mean? IT MEANS WE WILL ACTUALLY HAVE MONEY!!!!!!!! and THAT means no more sitting around all the time, it means being able to go places and do stuff, it means eating better, it means providing the boys with better care, and it means that we could potentially get into a HOUSE house after our lease there is up, which is one year. one year means that we won't be STUCK there if we want to leave. oh, and we'll be in a more comfortable community, so we can open our drapes and let sunlight in, open the windows every now and then for fresh air, and we won't be stuck in the dark so that every time I walk outside in the daytime, I am LITERALLY blinded for a good five minutes. (wish I were joking.) and let's hope the walls are thicker so that, when I'm recording something, I can be a little less careful about the volume of my voice, but that's not a HUGE deal. oh, and if my confidence is high enough and I find a friend willing to do this with me, the complex has an exercise place with equipment and stuff so maybe I can FINALLY FIT INTO THOSE GODDAMN PLEATHER PANTS THAT I WOULD LOOK GREAT IN IF I HAD THE BODY!! and then there's my personal promise to myself that, if I can flatten my tummy to my liking, I want to get a belly piercing. and with regular exercising at the ready, as well as counting calories, I can still eat pretty much whatever I want as long as I don't go crazy.

the probability of my happiness returning is very high, and when I'm happy, I'm motivated and more productive. as long as we can find low income insurance and psychiatrist for me, i'll feel SO much better! I can't promise that i'll be like... pushing out a page of PWF a day like I used to, but I know that I will be happier, and mike will be happier once he goes through training to be a computer tech thingie guy and gets to stop working retail. I'm just so excited that, after all this time complaining about this shitty place, we're FINALLY leaving, there is an ACTUAL end in sight! I'm not getting my hopes up too high, but maybe, just MAYBE this is the turning point, THIS is when life will stop throwing the hard shit at me for no reason. yes, life is a bitch if you're not rich, but come on, karma, if you exist, you're sure being lazy. maybe I can even get myself to stop picking my skin and pulling my hair so much. yes, I know how real life works, and I know it won't be easy living just because we'll be able to afford stuff and not struggle so hard, and yes, life is unpredictable, but I know myself, and I know Idaho, so I know that, overall, my family and I will be much happier. if my motivation is revived, i'll want to work harder to take care of myself, and maybe I can actually be the hot girlfriend that the nerd gets to hold hands with... and then the hot wife that isn't the nerd's ball and chain. XD I'm not making sense. I don't care. I'm very happy.
  • Watching: Aggretsuko
  • Playing: The Sims 4
  • Drinking: tea
so, two black guys walk into a starbucks....

no, this is not the beginning of a racist joke. it is the beginning of something that happened recently, something that is one of the many things proving that we're not getting any better as a society.

two black men go into a starbucks to wait for a friend before they order something. THREE MINUTES after they walk in and sit down, one of the employees calls the police and claims that they refused to buy anything. guess what? both men were arrested. not sure what happened after that.

here's the thing (one of the things).... YOU DON'T HAVE TO BUY ANYTHING AT STARBUCKS TO HANG OUT THERE. teens go there to chill (my friends and I used to all the time, and we didn't have money for coffee), people go there to focus on whatever they're working on on their laptops, and people sit inside to wait for their friends because it's the perfect meeting place; everyone knows what a starbucks looks like.

another thing. what does the word "refuse" mean? "to indicate or show that one is not willing to do something." how did these men refuse anything? did she ask them if they were going to order something and they said no? even if she had (which she didn't), they would have said, "we're waiting for our friend before we order" or something like that. they didn't come in yelling, "eh! look at us big black dudes comin inta ya starbucks and not buyin anythin!!" because for some reason I made them sound like stereotypical new yorkers. they walked in, and they sat down.

and what really gets me is that the bitch called the police after THREE MINUTES!!! listen, if they were going to cause trouble, they would've done it right away. is she just SO afraid of black people, she can't wait ten minutes to see if they were going to cause trouble? or even ask them what they were doing? not that she needed to, because no one gets kicked out of starbucks for not buying anything! I'd bet money if they had been two white dudes with the exact same build, she wouldn't have batted an eyelash. you know what, a pair of white bikers could walk in, and she wouldn't have called the police. why? because white guys are harmless! right? no white guy has EVER hurt anyone, killed anyone, raped anyone, or robbed a place! nope! because white people are SAFE!

listen, I know that this is just one out of many offences of racism, and I know it's not even the worst case. but this was such a miniscule thing to call the cops over, it really pushed my "WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?" meter up to eleven. overall, we should be better than this by now, we should be passed racism, but we're NOT. with prejudice in general, it almost seems as though people are trying to move backward while good people are trying to solve the problem, but let's face it, majority wins. I don't know why no one stood up for those men. I would've asked, "wait, what did they do?" I would've intervened. a little white girl, huh? the safest kind of cracker there is. no little white girl has harmed anyone. mob psychology says, if little white bitch protests, everyone else would follow suit, especially if little white bitch accuses the incident of being racially biased, because a lot of people are insecure and want other people to think for them. people will say to themselves, "well, I don't want to look racist! I should agree!" even though they wouldn't have stood up on their own.

PLURALISTIC IGNORANCE. people in a group won't act because they're waiting for someone else to do something. sheep. baaaah.

and we can complain. we can rant. we can try to speak out. but that does nothing. if it hasn't done anything so far, it never will. the only thing it can do is spread awareness, but when that awareness gets to someone who CAN do something, will that person care? or will they be just an old white guy who grew up under the confederate flag?

"Sometimes hate is the only real thing in the world... you can stop loving someone, but hate seems to go on forever."
  • Playing: The Sims 4
  • Drinking: water
just wanted to let you guys know that my Drarry fic, "Eye Candy," has been updated on my Quotev. go there or be square... well, except that it's hip to be square... go there or Patrick Bateman will kill you with an axe.
  • Playing: The Sims 4
  • Drinking: water
someone on youtube told me Tara Strong mentioned Muffins at a panel, and I found a video where she does indeed mention it. granted, she hasn't read it, nor did she sound quite happy about it because she knows the general concept, but the fact that one of my favorite voice actors of all time actually acknowledged its existence is THE BEST THING EVER!! despite some of the things she done voices for, she doesn't strike me as the type to enjoy such horror stories, but GOD, that made me squeal. I'd love to meet her and ask her to say one of Twilight's lines from Muffins, but I'd choose one that doesn't really portray the cruelty of the story... not sure what I'd ask... maybe, "I never realized how pretty your eyes are, Minkie." it'd be nice to hear Minkie's name said by one of the actual voice actors of the mane six.

if you could choose any of Twilight's lines from Muffins (dark or not), what one would you have Tara Strong say?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=URon-W…

she mentions Muffins toward the very end.
  • Playing: The Sims 4
  • Drinking: water
I'm building a casino located in Central Wayward City, and I can't figure out what to name it. I'm actually against casinos, so I don't even know where to start. I've been to a couple with Michael (he gambles, but he's actually a smart gambler, but I still don't like it), so I have a general feel of what they're supposed to look like... just... name... Wayward City establishment name... help?
  • Playing: The Sims 4
  • Drinking: water
why. why? WHY. why can't we put quotation marks in titles? no but really. WHY do people think it's okay to post my stories elsewhere without permission just because they credit me? to all fans of Muffins, I hope you're reading this, and I wish I knew how to make the text bigger...

DO NOT POST ANY OF MY STUFF ON ANY WEBSITE EVER UNLESS YOU ASK ME DIRECTLY FOR PERMISSION. IT DOES NOT MATTER IF YOU CREDIT ME, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO DO IT. IF I TELL YOU "NO," THEN THAT MEANS DO NOT POST IT! NO WATTPAD, NO FANFICTION.NET, NO NOTHING! IF YOU DO, YOU WILL BE FOUND, EVEN IF IT'S NOT RIGHT AWAY. I WILL FIND YOU, MY FANS WILL FIND YOU, MY FRIENDS WILL FIND YOU, AND THEY WILL NOTIFY ME. I WILL FILE A DMCA TAKEDOWN NOTICE THROUGH THE SITE, AND THEY WILL TAKE DOWN THE STORY BY FORCE. THIS WILL ALSO ENDANGER YOUR ACCOUNT ON THAT SITE, AND YOUR ACCOUNT COULD BE DELETED, OR WORSE, YOU'LL GET IP BANNED. IF YOU WANT POPULARITY, PUT IN THE WORK AND WRITE YOUR OWN DAMN STORIES!!</I></U>

look, Muffins got popular by accident, just like Playing with Fire. I did not write it with the intention of gaining watchers or subscribers on youtube. people just really liked it, and I liked writing them. I put in a lot of hard work when I write my stories, and even harder work when I narrate them for video format. if you want to get popular on the internet, you're not going to succeed by wanting to get popular! you need to have a passion, you need to work hard, you need to do something you love doing regardless if it results in popularity or not. you should not care about how many people like your stuff, you should only care about what you enjoy doing. the people who like your stuff are lucky that you shared it with them. this generation, studies have proven, care more about being famous than being KIND. that is REALLY sad. actually, I had someone message me yesterday, someone who was torn between working on a project that all of their fans liked, or working on a less popular project that they were passionate about. I told them straight up to NEVER let people convince you to do what they want. I myself made that mistake with, guess what? Muffins. and now I have trouble working on it because I'm exhausted. Playing with Fire is a bit of a different story; I was coming out with like a page a day, I burnt myself out. don't get me wrong, I love it, and I WILL finish it before I die, but an artist's most popular series should not be the artist's focus if they are not passionate about working on it at that time, or it will have poor quality.

stop caring about fame. I'm not famous. hell, I'm not even really considered well-known. I'm RECOGNIZABLE. some people see my work and say, "oh, I know who did that!" some people recognize my name or face. that's it... SOME PEOPLE. yeah, being famous sure would be nice, but only because the money would help Michael and I live in this god forsaken country. many famous people have miserable lives because they let the fame go to their heads, they do something stupid because they think they can do anything, and then they ruin their reputation. I mean... you guys don't want to be like that idiot kid, Logan Paul, do you? cause if you do, I feel really sorry for you. however, if you want to be like Markiplier, great! he works very hard doing what he loves and making the best effort to bring you quality content. but he doesn't do it because he wants fame, he does it because he LOVES doing it. he most likely started out like everyone does... he just started doing video game walkthroughs before they were called "Let's Plays," and people really liked him. when an artist finds out people like what they're doing, they'll strive to make it better quality, but also to make themselves proud of their accomplishments, and no, that's not NARCISSIM, that's called self esteem. people like Markiplier genuinely care about their fans. but he if didn't enjoy doing something, he wouldn't force himself to do it.

I care about my fans and Reitannites, I do. but there's something that MAKES them fans in the first place, and that's their unwavering support. it's not, "building an army so my fans will protect me," it's not, "all eyes on me no matter what!" it's dedication, it's a good show of character, it's realizing that I'm no saint, I'm no god, and I'm far from perfect. it's seeing me as another human being just like them, and they enjoy their work and personality. and I can be fans of my fan's stuff as well. dude... when KingSpook began commenting on my videos, I was like WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! I'm a huge fan of his narrations, and he's become a fan of some of my stuff. we've even spoken through email, and that's just super cool. he's shared with me some problems of his, he's shown me his humanity, and he is flawed, like all of us. that doesn't change the fact that he works hard with what he does, and he likes doing it. those of you who see me as another person, I have the highest respect for you, and you are indeed the reason I've become recognizable. if it weren't for you, there's a lot of good things I would've missed out on...

but who I DON'T care for are the people who take me for granted, who ask me, "how do you become popular?" who constantly nag at me for stuff even if I've taken a hiatus. the people who say, "come on, it's been so long since the last muffins, just fucking post one already, or at LEAST make them into animations." real comment I got on youtube, sent to my "held for review" section because I blacklisted the word "muffins." that means the comments won't be seen unless I approve them, and it's how I filter out these kinds of shit comments. I don't care about the people who BITCH at me, the people who THREATEN me, the people who say, "if you don't post more, I'm gonna unsub!" do it then! unsub! it literally does nothing to the amount of success I've gained so far, and I don't want people like you on my channel anyway! I've had haters tell me, "you're so mean to your fans!" no, I am not. because those aren't fans. they are blind worshippers of the final product I create, they are people who claim that I'm the best person ever in the whole wide world because of that product, and they are the people who think I can just pop another story out of my ass just for them. well, if I WERE to shit out a story, you'd get nothing but shit, right?

but youtube's community seems to be way more toxic than DA's, and that's saying something. most of those "fakies," which I call them so that I sum them up in a single word, are on youtube, and not here. that means that most of you reading this are true people, people who also work hard because you're artists as well, you show good character, not just to me, but to MANY people, you have your own fans, and you understand that life isn't always a walk in the park. you guys are so great, I love seeing how much effort you put into fanart of my stuff, and it makes me go to your gallery and see all of the wonderful work you've done. I may not favorite it, but I only favorite stuff I plan to go back to, though in the past I favorite pretty much anything I liked... I WILL favorite cute animals from time to time. XD the point is, I don't see you as my minions or whatever, I don't see you as the platform that hold me up, I see you for what you are... PEOPLE. because history repeats itself... if I met one of YOU guys in person, I'd likely be more "star struck" than you. XD most of all, we come together through common interests, we can relate to each other in some way, and friendships are formed. I know that my level of devotion toward you guys has been very low lately, but life has been holding me down for quite a bit. I know, within this year, things will get better, and i'll be back to my old self again, though with more life experience, so as immature as I am, I will at least be more mature than I was. that's just going to happen regardless.

I uh... didn't plan on writing such a long thing. so if you read all of this, I commend you. but I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it. dammit, if I hated all of you, I'd just say it, right? better to be hated for the truth than to be loved for a lie. but it's pretty clear to everyone (except the haters) who I hate and who I don't. anyway, that's really all I have to say right now, so... have a good rest of your day/night. :P
  • Playing: The Sims 4
  • Drinking: water
does anyone know where I can find FNAF models designed for Blender or Source Film Maker? Free to use, obviously... I feel like I've searched everywhere, and I can't seem to come up with anything.
  • Playing: The Sims 4
  • Drinking: tea
mike and i went to the mall today for our valentines day dinner at the cheesecake factory. lucky me got sick on the original weekend we were going to do it. while we're at the mall, we usually go see the animals in the pet store. they finally had bunnies this time! so i asked to hold a bunny, and he's like, "do you know how to hold a rabbit?" I'm thinking, "pffsh, do i know how to hold a rabbit." but i said yes, and he asked me how, like i was lying or something, and held an invisible bunny. I'm sure he just wanted to ensure the safety of the bunnies. here's me thinking EVERYONE would be as careful with a bunny as they would a newborn baby...

anyway, there were like five of them, but there was a big, lazy black and white one. I've handled many rabbits, and even had one named Mystic. poor Mystic didn't deserve the life he got, not of our pets did at the time... because i was a young teen with hardly any pet care experience, and the "responsible" adult was an animal hoarder that wouldn't even clean the litter box... anyway...

i knew this bunny would struggle once picked up, and it did despite me being as gentle as i could, and i held him/her against my chest and pet its soft fur. it felt like a cloud. XD (i don't know it's gender, so unfortunately i have to use "it.") rabbits are very timid, nervous creatures, so i knew it was probably terrified. but i did what i always do with animals, and talked to it, pet it, tried to emote to it that i wasn't a threat. i thought it was terrified the whole time, but apparently i was wrong. i carefully put it back in the enclosure (it struggled again, that's just what they do), but it looked up at me, came up to the glass and stood up against it, as if to say, "well, wait, why'd you stop?"

i died. so i pet it while it was in the enclosure, and the cute ass thing just sprawled out and relaxed. i said, "i can't take you home with me! i won't take you home with me!" thankfully, even though i want to care for all the animals ever in the world ever, i know when to and when not to adopt someone... I'm not an animal hoarder. i would need the space and money to take care of a rabbit, and I'd also need to research proper rabbit care because they are not like rats or hamsters, which i DO have experience caring for. i WAS going to try and hold a blue rabbit, but a bunch of kids were looking at the bunnies and made all of them nervous, so i had to say goodbye. there was a little black on that looked just like Mystic though!

the way the bunny relaxed when i pet it reminds me of my rat, Jerry, because he has a sweet spot. on both sides of his body, if you gently scratch or massage the area around his lower neck and ribcage, he just freezes, forgets whatever he's doing, and relaxes. it's so funny. he doesn't do it all the time for mike; he thinks i have a special touch or something. one time, Jerry actually rolled over onto his back so i could scritchle (scratch) his fat little belly, and my jaw dropped and i said, "are you serious right now? no, are you fucking serious right now?!" he did it one other time, and mike saw it, and then today i was schritchling him, and he got so relaxed that he just lay on his side, almost on his back, so his little foot was up. i called Michael in and he said, "are you serious right now?!"

i bought a Scabbers plush at Hot Topic. He has Velcro on his paws so he can hold his tail. I got a new Tool shirt at Spencers. Spencer's? anyway, it was a good day. i wish Michael and i could go out together more often, but that requires money, and California is expensive. it looks like we may not be out of here by march, which we hoped, but our lease ends in may, and we're OUT. OF. HERE. i have a good feeling that moving will restore my happiness, and i'll be able to enjoy my hobbies again. i'll most likely start shelling out playing with fire pages again. this place... this place is not good. we can get a house that has a monthly mortgage payment that's less than the rent for this shit hole. I HATE CALIFORNIA!!! i never asked to move here! well, if i hadn't, there's a lot of GOOD things that wouldn't have happened, right?

but I've got to come up with plans for emergencies so we can run drills... what to do when there's a tornado warning, what to do if someone breaks into the house, stuff like that. the latter is less probable, BUT YOU NEVER KNOW. paranoia makes you safer!! am i being watched right now???

OH! and i tried cucumber lemonade! CUCUMBER. LEMONADE. it was AMAZING.
  • Playing: The Sims 4
  • Drinking: water
on TSR, someone made this shirt: www.thesimsresource.com/member…

I am a vegetarian and have been for fourteen years. I LOVE animals, and I get along better with them than humans. however, these kinds of people piss me off. it's because of extremists like this that give the rest of us a bad name. because of this, if I say I'm vegetarian to someone, they bristle like an angry cat, prepared to defend their right to eat meat. well, I'm not one of those kinds of people! but it gives a bad impression when it shouldn't.

the last one really gets me. "you can't love animals and eat them too." BULLSHIT. my best friend and boyfriend ADORE animals, and they eat meat. Emzotic on youtube works and lives with TONS of species, with whom she loves very much, and she's not vegan. there are plenty of you reading this who LOOOOOOOOOOVE animals, but still eat meat, am I right? I invented a fake conversation to have with this type of person IF they were logical and non-argumentative.


Commenter: I feel like the message you're sending is not a fair one.

Author: Why not?

Commenter: Because our diet is part of a life choice, and discriminating against people for not doing anything wrong isn't something we should do.

Author: But it's wrong to eat animals.

Commenter: That's debatable, but no matter what your opinion is on the matter, it's not right to shame others for their choices. I'm a vegetarian, and I love animals to the ends of the earth, but I have plenty of friends who love animals more than I do who eat meat. There are people out there working to save animals' lives, rescues, preservation of endangered species, people who connect better with animals better than their own species, and still eat meat.

Author: But being vegan is healthier.

Commenter: Not in all cases. Remember that humans are animals too, and we are naturally omnivorous. Actually, our teeth and digestive systems aren't built to eat red meat, but are able to handle poultry and fish just fine. In fact, the healthiest diet you could be on is just cutting red meat out entirely. We need certain things for proper nutrition. That's not to say that vegetarians and vegans can't be healthy with their diets, but I'm sure you know by experience that we have to go to extra lengths to get that missing nutrition, and it's very expensive. Then you have to think about other animals. Lions are carnivorous, which means they eat other animals. Does that make them cruel? Not enough humans understand that we are still animals, and we still have to survive. Do I agree with how live stock animals are treated in most cases? Absolutely not, and I wish I could change it. Still, you're not going to convince a majority of humans to quit eating meat, and when you push your veganism in their face, it actually makes them want to defy you even more. In any case of it, conversion is wrong, and harmful opinions should be kept to yourself.

Author: You make very good points that I didn't think of before. You're right, but what do you think I should do to fix this?

Commenter: It's alright to express vegan pride, and possible to do so without insulting others. Naturally, you'll still get backlash, but if you're not harming anyone, that's their fault, not yours.

Author: Alright, I will find some messages that still express my opinion, but not impose on other people's.


of course, extreme vegans don't usually respond in such a way. let me share with you this hilarious video I found: www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0O_VY…

that pretty much sums up how extreme vegans act, and they really do act that way. not only that, but they're under the assumption that they do not eat animals. OH YES THEY DO. WE ALL DO. there is no such thing as being 100% vegan if you get your food from a store. FDA regulations in all countries have their own percentages of the amount of OTHER things are allowed to still be in our food before we consume it. OTHER things include.... mice, rats, their feces, bugs, and human skin. in America, the FDA is very lax. so have I unknowingly eaten part of a mouse? the probability is very high. would I knowingly eat a mouse? NEVER. I don't think I could bring myself to do it even if I was starving. I could eat fish if it were a last resort, but mammals especially are just too much. still, I'm sure I've eaten a fair number of unknown animals that got into my food while it was being processed. bread is a big one.

not only that... but there are plenty of foods that people just don't know have animal products in it. "natural flavors" usually means it comes from an animal. are you vegan and like to eat dairy free vanilla ice cream? well don't get too ahead of yourself, because you're eating secretions from a beaver's anal gland. best part is, I don't know if they have to kill the beaver to get it. in my vegetarian foods, like my Morning Star stuff, I'm certain there's something in there that the FDA said was okay, like the aforementioned mousies. and how many things have gelatin? where do you think gelatin comes from?

and you know, even if you straight up eat grass, you're consuming tiny organisms invisible to the naked eye. but you know, regardless of these facts, the truth is, it's just NOT okay to tell people that what they are eating is wrong unless it actually IS wrong, like eating a baby or something. or bad for your health, like eating tide pods. TIDE PODS. LAUNDRY DETERGENT. POISON!!! idiots! you can give the recommendation to someone that they should reduce their consumption of red meat, but that's because red meat does in fact cause many health issues. here's Emzotic's response to veganism: www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdpGMT…

every point she makes is logical, educated, and fair. seriously though, watch her videos, and you will see that her love for animals is off the charts. and I understand that humans are no longer part of the food chain, but that does not make us omnivores any different than any other omnivorous animal. the only difference is is that we torture our meat before we kill it. is it wrong? absolutely. and we can protest against it as much as we want, but at least in America, money speaks louder, and we're not going to change a damn thing.

I'm a vegetarian. I can tell you the facts. I can tell you the pros and cons. but I have no right, nor would I ever, tell you that you should be vegetarian. if a DOCTOR says you should lean more toward that diet, that's different. there are plenty of vegans out there who are just like me, meaning they know conversion is wrong, and people make their own choices about what they eat, so don't go thinking all vegans suck. Daniel Bryan was a vegan, I don't know if he is anymore, but Daniel Bryan is not known to be an asshole backstage. for you vegetarians and vegans who act all high and mighty, like you know everything, and you refuse to acknowledge hard facts, if you tell people they can't love animals and eat them to, if you harass them for not sharing your beliefs, YOU ARE THE PROBLEM. you need to leave people alone. keep your nastiness to yourself, judge people silently, but most of all, get over yourself. human beings were NOT meant to be herbivores, and we never will be. you're not going to change the world, especially when you're so toxic. you give the rest of us a bad name. stop buying into PETA when you don't even know what PETA REALLY does to animals. just be fair, and be nice.

then again, the reason they act like this is because they're moronic sheep, so nothing I say will change anyone's mind.
  • Playing: The Sims 4
  • Drinking: lemonade
I've been getting quite a few questions about the monsters in an Other's dimension, so I wanted to officialize some more stuff. you like that word? OFFICIALIZE. anyway, so I've already established that each type of Other is a species, so manic depression (AKA bipolar) Others have the same attributes, as do ADHD Others, general anxiety, etc. also, depending on the species, the dimension is relatively the same, like the staircases for manic depression Others. these dimensions can be tailored to each individual depending on the Host's issues, such as different sounds in the background, varying levels of darkness, different substances on the walls, yadda yadda. but I wanted to specify that, even if two people have the same symptom, the monsters can be completely different. let's take me for example. I have a monster called Fear. well, I guarantee many other disorders includes Fear; in fact, Rina and Sei will have their own versions. well, are all of YOUR Fears going to look and act the same as mine? absolutely not. let's say I meet someone else with a manic depression Other. is their Manic going to look and act like mine? it could be similar, but it could also be VASTLY different. if I meet someone with an obsessive disorder, their Obsession could be vastly different to mine, and the chances of them being different is very high. many mental disorders share the same symptoms (which is why you should never self diagnose), and even with people who have the same disorders, the symptoms are never going to be exactly the same. I am bipolar II with rapid cycling and mixed symptoms, so Anna's monsters could be completely foreign to someone with say, bipolar III with no rapid cycling or mixed symptoms. in fact, some symptoms may be missing altogether.

what does this mean? it means, when you're designing your Others and their dimensions, even though you have to keep to the species and dimension type, YOUR MONSTERS ARE YOUR OWN. Others can have varying differences and personalities BASED ON THE HOST, but they are still a species. your monsters are part of you, your monsters are the things that bind you to the disorder and your monsters are you. Tracy-Lynn-Pond has recently remastered her OCD Other's monsters (note that she created the canon design for OCD Others, and this MIGHT be the only time I canonize someone else's design, with permission, of course), and AvaArtist17 just made this:

Mature Content

My Other's Monsters by AvaArtist17


vedy vedy nice. I like seeing what other people can come up with, so even if I haven't designed an Other's species yet, or the design is still in concept, feel free to make your monsters. note that there is no max limit, the monsters are symptoms, emotions, and issues the Host has to face on a daily basis. they are something you have to fight with for the rest of your life just to try and exist. these things are suppressed or completely absent when on medication. actually, the ones I designed for Anna aren't the only ones she has, they're just the ones I met in the story. so, you know, go crazy. um, no pun intended... >_<

speaking of bipolar disorder, I'm planning on showing the differences between types I, II, and III. they are SUBTLE, though. I'm also hoping to solidify some of my concepts. so far, major depression (AKA clinical depression, AKA unipolar depression), PTSD, and dissociative identity disorder (formerly known as multiple personality disorder) are the concepts I have deemed official.

concepts:

Others Concept Art by Reitanna-Seishin

better drawing of major depression Other:

Ramon and Nomar by Reitanna-Seishin

PTSD Other:

PTSD Other by Reitanna-Seishin

general guide to Others:

The Guide to OthersOthers are beings born from a broken mind. They are connected to a person, known as the Host, from birth, but those who live on Earth may not realize they are there straight away. On Earth, no one but the Host can see their Other, but they can be captured on video or audio recordings. On Encephalon, they can be seen by everyone.
Once the Host is born, the Other will be attached to the same umbilical cord. The strange thing is, the fetus of the Other cannot be detected in any way before birth, as if it's not even there. It also does not take nourishment from the mother of the Host. Basically, it is not known if the baby will have an Other until the mother gives birth to a second child (or in some cases, multiple children) that no one knew was there.
Others actually cannot reproduce, for they are sterile. It is likely that, when a Host reproduces, the child will also have an Other. The likelihood of the child having an Other depends on history of mental illness in both of the parents' fa


OCD Others:

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder OthersAPPEARANCE: OCD Others tend to have a slightly paler, almost sickly complexion compared to their Hosts, and their hair is a slightly lighter color. They wear the same outfits that their Host wears, but the colors of their outfits always clash (bright red and dull green, neon yellow and lavender, etc); the color of the Host's outfit does not effect what color the Others clothes will be. Their eyes are the same color as their Host's, and their blood is pale blue. Aside from these things, OCD Others look fairly normal, but it is usually easy to spot them because of their behavior. As with all Others, their voices have an eerie echo; but because OCD Others tend to be soft-spoken, that echo might be hard to detect.
BEHAVIOR: OCD Others tend to move in a very stiff, controlled way, and they are very careful with how they hold themselves; usually, they hold their hands in a sort of praying fashion, then hold their arms close to their bodies so their hands are close to but not qu


there are a LOT of mental disorders, and me designing a species for each one is not exactly top priority, so... I'm sorry if you struggle with something that I haven't designed, and you want to draw your Other... perhaps after we move and my happiness returns, i'll be more willing to work on all of the stuff I used to love working on. I just read playing with fire for the first time in years, and I'm like, "aw, I miss this..." >_<
  • Playing: The Sims 4
  • Drinking: water
well, I'm getting on in years. I'm just three years away from being thirty. problem is, do my characters age as I do? that's no fun. what if I'm still doing this when I'm fifty? fifty-year-old cartoon characters? no. and they ain't having children. so, I've decided to finally freeze their ages. here we go...

Reitanna: 26
Michael: 29
Sempai: 26 (she's a few months older than me)
Tenji: 28
Evelyn and Evey: 20
Koda: 23
Jisatsu brothers: 25
Lady: 21
Cherry: 24

I think that's all of the MAIN characters. pets stay whatever age they are, my rats are added as I adopt them in real life, but do not die. if I missed someone, let me know, and i'll add them to the list. background characters are considered depending on their importance to me personally.
  • Playing: The Sims 4
  • Drinking: water
if anyone asks me if "this is the end" on a muffins story, I'm gonna say "yes." if someone asks "when is the next muffins coming out," I'm going to say "never." that way it'll fuck with them when the next story comes out.
  • Playing: The Sims 4
  • Drinking: water
no, I'm not talking about, "bases don't help you improve as an artist." that's not true, of course, but I'm talking about something that has caused a lot of problems, and the creators of the bases don't seem to know this...

it is NOT required to credit or link to the base, unless it is P2U (pay to use). by definition, bases fall under the "fair use" category in copyright law. in fact, technically, people who make bases are committing copyright infringement, but if the copyright holders don't take action, that's their decision. plus, it's impossible to file notices for EVERY SINGLE BASE ON THE INTERNET. back on topic. once someone has made a base that people may use for free, it falls under fair use. the definition of fair use:

"Under the doctrine of 'fair use,' the law allows the use of portions of copyrighted work without permission from the owner. Fair use is a defense to copyright infringement. This means that an unauthorized use of copyrighted material is excusable if it falls under the principle of fair use."

There are a few factors that come into play. When making a base, you are copying the image that is copyrighted. but when you USE a base (this doesn't really apply to people who scribble details onto a base in paint), you are creating something new because the image you are using IS NOT COPYRIGHTED. specifically, if you do what I do and actually retrace the base (I use inkscape), it counts as a new creation, especially if the base has flaws and you fix them for your final project. now that the image is created, the copyright belongs to the person who used the base, meaning people cannot use or make another base from the finished picture. I ran into this problem with this drawing:

Captured by Reitanna-Seishin

many people made a base out of this picture without asking. problem is, I USED BASES TO CREATE IT. as the technical copyright holder OF THE DRAWING (it's fanart, so I only own the drawing, not its content or style, that belongs to Hasbro), I can file DMCA notices for every person who has made a base out of this. however, so many people have already used the base, and that infuriates me. I am almost positive that I don't have the right to even file DMCA notices of the used bases, though DA would take them down anyway.

next factor is that, when using bases, you are only using a small portion of the original picture used to make the base. the less you take, the more it falls under fair use. for people who retrace the base, it's taking even less, and they are making their own creation with only a fraction of the original property used. another good example would be my "eye candy" story, which uses many direct quotes from the harry potter books. if the book was, say, 1000 words, and I quoted 800 words, it would not be fair use. but because the books I am taking from are combined... a LOT of words XD, my taking of direct dialogue for small portions of the story equates to a very small percentage compared to the original works. if it were 1000 words, and I was quoting a large percentage, then the fact of me not making money off of it and crediting the source does not excuse me. this also makes recoloring someone else's work is very illegal.

there is a golden rule... "Take from someone else only what you would not mind someone taking from you." I make very few bases, but the ones I have are free to use, credit is optional, but I'd LIKE to see the finished product. still, this is optional. if I remember correctly, the few bases I have made are my own original creation, and I created them to be taken and used for other people's creative purposes. since I created them from scratch, I am the copyright holder, and if someone reuploads the base without alterations, I CAN file a DMCA notice. however, if someone uploads with alterations, TECHNICALLY credit would be required if I specified, but I specify that credit is optional. (if you know of a base in my gallery where I don't follow my own rules, please tell me so I can change it.) if I were to make a base out of a picture that I created using a base, it would still be mine. however, if I made a base using, say, a MLP screenshot, THE BASE IS NOT MINE. by law, I would not be allowed to upload it without Hasbro's permission, and the fact that so many people do it anyway does not change the law. but we DO do this. so if I were to do that, and someone used the base I made from Hasbro's image, their creation would be THEIRS, and no credit to me is required. in fact, reuploading the base is also infringing on HASBRO, not me, so I would not be able to say, "don't reupload," because I am already infringing on Hasbro.

with other artists' stuff, it does not matter if the creator has it licensed for copyright or not. as soon as you create something, you are the copyright holder. what does this mean? it means that every demotivational poster or meme posted is copyright infringement, any photo posted on blogs or social media that was not taken by you is copyright infringement, and even if you take a picture of another person, but that person didn't know, technically, it's copyright infringement because they did not give permission to use their likeness. this all sounds ridiculous, trust me, I thought the same thing when I learned about this stuff. but that's the way it is. we do it anyway, but if the copyright holder decides they don't like you posting their stuff, they can tell you to take it down, and you'd legally have to.

fanart falls under fair use for several reasons that I mentioned above, but also because it also falls under "parody," and parodies are protected.

so what rules should base creators set out?

1. credit/linking back is appreciated, but optional
2. please do not reupload (the use of the word "please" makes this a request, not an order)
3. I'd like to see your finished work, but it's not required.

for original bases, the creator can set whatever rules they want. giving credit to a base creator is considered courteous, but truth is, it doesn't belong to them, and once you make significant changes, it belongs to you. fair use laws are VERY tricky, copyright laws in themselves are tricky, but you've got to know them, especially considering the fact that people who use bases don't always know where they came from. different people make bases of the same pictures, bases created by someone are found on other sites, or people save bases on their computer to use later, and it's nearly impossible to remember where they even came from. it's stressful for people who use bases to have to follow rules that the base creator has no right to set.

with that said, I can and will admit I've used stock resources that I THOUGHT was public domain, but I later found I was mistaken. since then, I've been more thorough in my searches for public domain clipart. also, when I was a teenager, I seemed to not specify in certain images that I either traced or referenced. almost every picture I drew of Irene were referenced from chobits pictures, but I don't think I actually said they were. we learn as we grow.

I know this journal probably won't make a difference, but sharing the information might be helpful. I learned a LOT about copyright and fair use laws when doing my own research about video game custom content to help support Emma from Emma's Simposium.
  • Playing: The Sims 4
  • Drinking: water
alright, so for those of you who watch me on youtube, you know all about the details of my ban, though I have not given any details about what's happened since my first appeal was rejected. I think I will actually make a youtube video explaining all of it because I'd rather talk about it instead of type it. for now, I'm back, and I have over 5000 notifications. remember the osomatsu-san fanart that got me in trouble in the first place? well, I made a version where I drew them in shorts, and I'm actually going to ASK if it's okay to post. I changed the Japanese characters from "secross" to "shorts," so logic says it should be okay. problem is, I'm walking on eggshells here, and I'm deathly afraid that lack of communication will, once again, ruin me, but this time, the ban will be permanent. not fun, not pleasant. then again, what is? playing with animals I guess... fantasy also. anyway...

I want to commend Tracy-Lynn-Pond for drawing a picture literally EVERY SINGLE WEEK of my ban, even after my first scheduled appeal. that's dedication. also, playing the sims 4 has been allowing me to develop encephalon a lot more. I don't know when I'm going to start drawing again, but only time will tell. I haven't been in a good place, especially since tommy died. I'd be fine if it weren't for the fact that I was mentally and emotionally attacked while I was fragile and my walls were unstable. now they're down, and I just don't think happiness exists anymore. good (?) news is, if things go well, we might be out of this apartment by march, and Michael will be out of the soul sucking job that is ALL RETAIL, and working at a nuclear plant with his wages starting at TWENTY-TWO FUCKING DOLLARS AN HOUR. we'd be living in a state where the cost of living is lower, our monthly mortgage payment will be less than our apartment rent, and TWENTY-TWO DOLLARS.... STARTING! they say money can't make you happy, but in the world we live in today, the only way to be happy is to be able to afford to be happy; food, clothes, roof, and then whatever other crap we humans indulge in. everything costs money, so happiness costs money. but I guarantee you, life will be SO much less stressful once we're out of socal. i'll work my way back out of my trench, and maybe, eventually, be able to do weekly videos again. member those? member??

so yeah, it's 3:30 am, I should get back to working on my general store in the sims... it's located in Clearwater park, and it's called SOS general store. SOS stands for sweet on savings. because happy cute names.
  • Playing: The Sims 4
  • Drinking: water
what do you think china would be called in the MLP universe? I need a really good name, and I need it like... now. XD

~:::UPDATE:::~

even though I like the sound of neigh-jing, I don't want to use it because neijing is a type of Chinese kung fu. I'm torn between equina and chineigh, the latter I'm most partial to. thoughts?

~:::UPDATE 2:::~

I've settled on chineigh. thanks for your help, guys!
  • Playing: ACNL and Pokemon Moon
  • Drinking: water
hey, whoever synisterdelusions is who has sent me two emails, for whatever reason, my inbox is downright refusing to open your email. though, from the subject of your second email, I gathered what the topic is, I just can't reply to you!

this is for you and anyone else: yes, you may draw minkie pie, or any of the other muffins characters if you make sure to show me (if you post it online). if you post it online, please credit me for the series, and if you post it to DA, send me the link so I can add it to the fan group. I hope synisterdelusions is on here, I feel so bad that I can't answer those emails...

speaking of fanart, if you have any fanart of my stories or characters, whether it's muffins or not, please send me the link, or submit them to the appropriate fan group. there's three of them, and you can find them on my page, one for playing with fire, one for reitanna stuff, one for muffins. I like to make sure fans can see each other's work, and I like to see it as well. I actually save them to my computer in a file dedicated to your guys' pictures. when I'm feeling like everything I do is pointless, looking at the fanart makes me feel a little better. because... if it were pointless, why would so many of you take the time and energy to create this art? then again, my mind is notorious for making me second guess myself, which is the reason I always feel useless.

on top of that, if I feel ANY bit of pride, some jerk comes along and calls me self centered, so I've been conditioned to beat myself up each time I feel pride to punish myself. mike says that's not good for me, but what else am I supposed to do? I'm not self-centered in the slightest, and I'd LIKE to be proud of my creations. there are times when I've expressed my pride when I did something that I felt was great, and people like to use those small instances as "proof" of my vanity, because I am SOOOO special, and I am so much more important than everyone else. you guys kneel before me like I'm your god, and you do everything I say because I'm so great. pfft. yeah, I think some people actually BELIEVE that I'm like that. I'm just trying to prove to myself that I'm not like my parents, and that I can succeed. why do I have to punish myself for feeling good about myself? when my face is clearing up, I put on makeup, and I actually look pretty, I'm not allowed to admit I look pretty, because then I'm vain.

this is why I envy inkie pie, as well as many of my original characters, koda, tenji, and evelyn being the main ones.... they're hot stuff, the know it, they don't care about what anyone else says, and they will show what they got. they're confident and sassy... that's why I made them like that, because I want to be like that. hell, even my own cartoon character is more confident than I am. then again, since she's a fictional version of me, she can do many things that I can't, unrealistic things. ah, the power of fiction...

crap. I'm ranting again.
  • Playing: ACNL and Pokemon Moon
  • Drinking: water
AKA thanksgiving, AKA the harvest festival in ACNL.

but, as we all know, thanksgiving is never about anything except commercialism, and an excuse to eat tons of food because everyone else around you is eating tons of food. we say it's to "give thanks" and to gather once a year to see the whole family, but we know it's not true. not even the story of the first thanksgiving is even true. you don't give thanks to anything or anyone except the opportunity to eat around three days worth of calories or more in a single evening. and come on, when mother said, "get dressed! it's time to go see the family for thanksgiving!" you went, "uuurrgh..." because you hate seeing great grandmamumsy, who speaks so softly, you just nod your head while she's talking, uncle whatshisname, who has been bailed out of prison recently by your wealthy grandfather, who makes sure EVERYONE knows that HE paid for YOUR food, so for the rest of the year, you have to treat him like he's a god for the entire year, cousin somebody, who you remember beating you up constantly when you were kids, and then that one family member who just think is the worst in every way. the only solace is in the turkey... which was NOT at that first feast, by the way.

the first "thanksgiving" was more of a harvest festival, ironically, and it lasted for three days. it's been documented that this may have happened in SEPTEMBER, not November. this was a time when the pilgrims found themselves with little food, so they reached out to the Indians to join in a feast to bring them together, making peace between the white man and the red man. we're taught in schools the nicest version of this story they can, garnishing the feast with foods a typical American eats on thanksgiving. it's funny how our textbooks contain so many lies when it comes to history, huh?

there were multiple "thanksgivings," and they were usually celebrated each time the pilgrims successfully slaughtered those red skinned monsters (their words, not mine), many being shipped to Europe for slavery, many being kept as slaves, and the rest? beaten to death, chased down and gutted alive, beheaded, treated like animals if any of them came out of their tents to fight. women and children still hiding in their tents were burned alive. this was a thanksgiving, and after all the massacre was over, they'd celebrate with feasts, usually consisting of different kinds of fowl (NOT turkeys, though), fish, deer, corn, and pumpkin. much later, the pig was the main part of the feast, which, in our time, has been replaced by the turkey. after feasting, they would play a nice game of kick-around-the-indians'-heads-for-fun.

since there were so many reasons to give thanks during the year (i.e, many slaughters of people who weren't white), our very first president declared this celebration to only be held once a year on the 26th of November. it wasn't until Lincoln, our sixteenth president, proclaimed that thanksgiving take place on the last Thursday of November, did it stick as a yearly, nationwide holiday, though, in the years to come, some individuals tried to change it for... reasons, which I assume are not important enough to be mentioned. Roosevelt is the one who made a LAW that the holiday was set for the date Lincoln proclaimed. (Canada celebrates it on the second Monday of October. hey, my Canadian friends, what's YOUR country's reason for celebrating it, if it differs from America? I'm curious.)

how thanksgiving evolved into turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie, and whatever else is tradition is beyond me. though, other countries have their own feasts similar to a thanksgiving. of course, they have their OWN reasons for celebrating.

in the present day, America's most myth-based holiday is about grocery stores jacking up their prices for these food items, but marking them as if they're on sale (which is a completely legal marketing technique), as well as other items, because for some reason, we have to have thanksgiving themed merchandise, too. you know, for most americans, I'm sure celebrating this dark holiday is fun for them, whether or not they know its history. food! FOOD! FOOOOOOOOD!!!!!

for mike and I, we have out own tradition. we get up, he sticks a stouffer's family sized lasagna in the oven, we watch whatever show we're on, the lasagna is ready about an hour later, we eat a few pieces, and then he pulls the pumpkin pie he got at vons out of the fridge. we also drink sparkling bottles of sugar and flavored fizzy bubbles, which contain less drink than you may think because the bottles are so thick, it actually robs you of the ounces it says it is. and really, you're just paying for that bottle, not the bubbly liquid inside. we eat a piece of pie, and then he gets ready for work. now it's just another day. I'm alone at home, usually with cramps because of the wonderful visit from aunt flow, and I play video games, watch movies, and, if my cramps aren't that bad, work on the computer.

so to us, "thanksgiving" is not that at all. we don't pretend to give thanks or celebrate anything, it's our excuse to eat lasagna and pumpkin pie the one time out of the year. and then I eat the leftover lasagna for the next week. I dunno why, he doesn't like reheated pasta much. BUT I DO!!!!!! and then mike will work until midnight for black Friday. I love being alone (she said with sarcasm.)

so yeah. American holidays are just farces. I dunno 'bout any other country, because I haven't a clue about their holidays, but many of them probably revolve around commercialism and food, too. I think, if schools are going to teach us history, they should teach us the FACTS. who cares about how gruesome they are, I think we all need to hear them instead of sticking our fingers in our ears and singing, "LA LA LA" at the top of our lungs.

I did the harvest festival in ACNL, though, that was fun!
  • Playing: ACNL and Pokemon Moon
  • Drinking: water